Dearest Natalie,
First and foremost, congratulations on winning the Oscar. I guess all those death threats I sent to the academy paid off. I know it’s been a super-busy year for you and you’re probably tired of hearing from me, restraining orders say more than you ever had to. I just wanted to get this off my chest once and for all, I love you Natalie. Your beauty captivates me and you’re everything a man would ever look for in a woman. You're an animal rights activist, a Harvard graduate and an amazing actress. Now you can add “academy award winner” to that list. Aside from my “persuasion” to the academy, you totally deserve the Oscar. You are one of the hardest working women in the industry; your commitment to such roles as V for Vendetta, where you actually shaved your head for the part. You never cease to amaze me Natalie, which makes your current affairs even harder to bear. Word on the street is that you’re soon to be married and are already with child, and it burns my insides with such intensity. So much of me wants you to be happy; which I’m sure you are, but that other part of me says that you’ll only be happy with me. The few friends that I have often tell me I’m delusional, and they’re partially correct. I am honestly trying with all of my being to let go of this fantasy, and I know it’s not an overnight process. I wish I could avoid seeing you on the screen, but that’s impossible. For now, I’m going to ease up on my “obsession” with you and try to live what “normal” life I can. Despite being pregnant and engaged, I want you to keep my number in your back pocket, just in case…Love (from a distance),
Superfan (F.C. Zamani)
Thank you for creeping on behalf of all of us.
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